Let’s be honest — “not in the mood” has become the most overused phrase in midlife bedrooms. And it’s not because anyone’s broken, lazy, or uninterested in sex. It’s because the rules of desire change, and nobody gave us the updated playbook. Desire in your 40s, 50s, and beyond doesn’t just arrive on command. It needs time, curiosity, and safety — not pressure, performance, or “just do it.” On the bright side, you can absolutely get your groove back. You just need to start sm

When people talk about getting older, they usually talk about what we lose—collagen, hormones, energy, hair. The one thing that gets better with age is your potential for great sex. You’ve got experience, emotional intelligence, and (hopefully) a little more time on your hands. What you might not have is the same old body—or the same ideas about what sex should be. And that’s exactly where the fun begins. Redefine What “Great Sex” Means Great sex in your 50s (and beyond) isn’

You know what kills the mood faster than socks in bed? Asking, “ So… what do you want me to do ?” 😬 Every woman’s body is different, and what worked with your last partner might be a total miss with your current one. That’s not a bad thing — it’s the fun part. Sex should feel like exploration, not guesswork. Asking her to stop and explain what she wants? That yanks her right out of the moment and into her head — exactly where you don’t want her. If you really want to please

Sex after divorce The joys of sex without worrying about getting pregnant is a welcome consequence of menopause. No more birth control pills or diaphragm or even periods to get in the way. When you're in a committed relationship, this can be the beginning of a new exciting era in your sex life. For those in the dating world, however, there's still a need for an abundance of caution. I recently heard several stories of individuals who have contracted herpes after re-entering

Menopause can herald a period of physical, emotional, and sexual challenges. Instead of a time of loss, menopause can be a time of rediscovery and reconnection with oneself and one’s partner. Let's unravel the layers of how menopause affects your sex life, offering insights and solutions to enhance your journey. Menopause is characterized by changes in menstrual patterns, symptoms, and hormonal levels. While estrogen levels play a game of hopscotch, particularly in the perime

Just as women experience menopause, men undergo a less discussed but significant change: andropause. This phase marks a gradual decline in testosterone levels, potentially reshaping one's sexual health landscape. Unlike the sudden changes that can accompany menopause, andropause creeps in, subtly altering the fabric of men’s vitality, mood, and, crucially, sexual function. Recognizing this shift is the first step toward addressing the sexual health challenges it can introduce

In a world where the daily grind often leaves us drained, the intimacy that once burned bright in our relationships can slowly dim, leaving many couples grappling with the question of how to reinvigorate their connection. Yes, life gets in the way—kids, work, household duties, and family commitments all vie for our attention, often pushing our romantic lives to the back burner. I recently encountered a woman who lamented that she and her husband were simply too tired to even

It took me 60 years to find my true calling. I hesitate to call it a “passion,” as that might diminish my earlier career as a stay-at-home mom—a role I’m proud to have embraced. The journey to finding myself felt like an endless quest for a destination, one that often seemed just out of reach. Each time I thought I had settled into a comfortable place in the world, that comfort quickly turned into discomfort. Over 32 years ago, I left a short career in technology to raise my

Mismatched libido is the number one reason couples seek out help from sex therapists. This common challenge can cause emotional disconnect and great frustration in relationships. Many couples struggle in silence, unsure how to bridge the gap. Whether it's menopause, health issues, or other stressors, disruptions to your sex life can make a once harmonious relationship feel out of sync. Today, there are many avenues a couple can go to for help. Sex Therapists are licensed pro

Ah, the first date. You’re laughing, the conversation is flowing, and there’s that undeniable spark between you two. Then, the question pops into your head: Do I take this further tonight? It’s a decision as old as dating itself—whether or not to have sex on the first date. For some, it’s a hard “no,” while others think, “Why not, if the vibe is right?” I used to be in the “wait it out” camp, thinking intimacy should come later, after a deeper connection was built. As I re-en

Forget everything you think you know about sex after a certain age. Get ready to discover how exploring kink can take your intimacy to places you never thought possible. What if you could unlock a world of untapped desire, where intimacy and connection reach exhilarating new heights? It’s time to talk about something that might just transform your love life forever: kink . Forget the stereotypes—kink isn’t just about leather, latex, and extreme role-play (though it can be!).

One of the most common reasons women stop having sex is pain. Their desire for sex may still be real, yet the very idea of opening themselves up (literally and figuratively) causes enormous anxiety. "I love my partner but I've given up on sex." The impact of these challenges runs deeper, influencing self-esteem, relationships, and overall well-being. Often women feel resigned to their fate or the very thought of telling their doctor is filled with shame. Once we're out of chi

In midlife, we often stumble upon a myth that's as persistent as it is misleading—the idea that sexuality dims and diminishes as we advance in age. Yet, the reality, rich in its hues and textures, tells a different story. It speaks of adaptation, exploration, and, most importantly, of unapologetic continuance. Sex doesn't have to end as you age;  indeed, aging bodies can still revel in, and deeply enjoy, the pleasures of sexuality. For many of us, the notion that our bodies m

Navigating the tides of change that come with midlife can often feel like trying to sail a ship without a compass, especially when it comes to the deeply personal and intimate areas of sex and dating after a divorce. It's a journey that many find themselves embarking on, perhaps unexpectedly, at a later stage in life. This transformation period offers not only the challenge of rediscovering oneself but also the possibility of exploring new dimensions of intimacy and relations

The midlife years offer a unique opportunity for sexual rediscovery and intimacy enhancement, far beyond the realms of conventional wisdom. Whether you're navigating the waves of menopause or the ever-evolving landscape of intimate relationships, embracing new elements within your sexual journey can transform your experience, fostering a deeper connection with yourself and your partner. From the allure of ethical porn to the exploration of vibrators, dildos, and even the play

In the heart of midlife—a period often painted with the broad strokes of menopause and its retinue of hot flashes and hormonal whirlwinds—lies an unexplored dimension of sexuality and intimacy that's waiting to be uncovered. It's time to debunk the myth that sex and passionate intimacy wane with age. Contrary to murmured conversations and societal whispers, orgasms aren't just a youthful pleasure; they are incredibly beneficial for your health at any age , especially during a

In the rippling journey of life, the stretch of midlife often brings with it a sea of changes, not only in our bodies but also in our relationships. For many, the thought of dating and exploring intimacy after the age of 50 can be both exhilarating and intimidating. Apps have revolutionized the way we connect, offering a vast ocean of possibilities, but they can also feel like navigating through a storm without a compass. Moreover, if our online persona sails on waves of nega

Have you ever paused to consider how our perceptions shape our attitudes toward sex, especially as we navigate the shifting sands of middle age? It's a period ripe with transformational changes, ranging from menopause to navigating intimacy in long-term relationships. Amidst these shifts, there's a tapestry of sexual desires and practices that often go unspoken or misunderstood due to societal norms and personal preconceptions. My journey began in a place not too dissimilar t

It's no secret that the journey through midlife brings its share of changes. From the rollercoaster of menopause with its hot flashes to the adventure of rediscovering intimacy, this period poses unique challenges and opportunities. Yet, what often remains unspoken are the deep struggles many face: the waning libido, the complexities of orgasms and erectile dysfunction, and the sometimes lonely roads of relationships and sexual exploration. At the heart of these experiences l

Have you ever had a hot flash during sex? Let me tell you, it’s not sexy (although it is hot 😉 ). The good news is, I was having sex (actually the penetrative kind which technically is just a form of sex) which for many of you, at a certain point in life becomes less frequent or non-existent. The bad news is, my hot flash was exactly at that “pivotal” moment. As soon as I was done, I rolled over, ripped off all the covers and starting fanning myself. The best part was that i