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  • Writer's pictureKaren Bigman

Elevate Your Intimacy 🫦 (resources included!)

The midlife years offer a unique opportunity for sexual rediscovery and intimacy enhancement, far beyond the realms of conventional wisdom. Whether you're navigating the waves of menopause or the ever-evolving landscape of intimate relationships, embracing new elements within your sexual journey can transform your experience, fostering a deeper connection with yourself and your partner. From the allure of ethical porn to the exploration of vibrators, dildos, and even the playful boundaries of kink, the horizon of midlife intimacy is as expansive as it is exhilarating.

Intriguingly, the foundation of a fulfilling sex life at any age, but particularly in midlife, encompasses far more than just the physical act. It's about fostering an environment where emotional and psychological intimacy can flourish alongside the physical. Engaging in activities like reading or listening to erotica can act as a simple yet profound way to reignite the imagination, leading to a richer, more fulfilling sex life.

For an introduction to enhanced intimacy, try erotica. An abundant treasure trove of online resources is dedicated to erotica, tailored to a wide range of preferences and desires. Literotica, Lickerish Library, and Dipsea are just a few of the multitude of online and app-based options.

Ethical porn, characterized by consent, fair pay, and authenticity, offers a refreshing alternative to mainstream adult entertainment. Watching ethical porn can serve as an enlightening and exciting means to discover new desires, fantasies, and even sexual positions that you may never have considered before.

Integrating practices like dirty talk into your intimacy repertoire can elevate the experience to new heights. Communicating your desires and fantasies openly, within the safe and consensual space of your relationship, can strengthen your bond and deepen your connection. It's about embracing vulnerability and authenticity, allowing you and your partner to explore the depths of your desires freely and confidently.

Delving deeper into the realms of sexual exploration, the inclusion of adult toys such as vibrators, dildos, and anal toys emerges as a logical, thrilling step. These devices offer a diverse palette of sensations and experiences, catering to an array of preferences and curiosities.

Kinky play, encompassing practices like hot wax, handcuffs, and more, represents another layer of exploration, defined by trust, consent, and ongoing communication. Do note that before venturing into any form of kink, it's imperative to discuss all rules and boundaries in advance, ensuring a safe, enjoyable experience for everyone involved. This level of openness and experimentation can breathe new life into your sexual journey, introducing levels of pleasure previously unimagined.


If you’re feeling particularly adventurous, consider visiting a sex club (check out Fetlife for more on that), even if it's just to watch. This experience can offer unparalleled insight into the diverse spectrum of human sexuality, encouraging a deeper, more empathetic understanding of our desires and those of others.

The journey toward elevated midlife intimacy is not just about incorporating new elements into our sex lives; it's about embracing the full spectrum of our sexualities with openness, courage, and curiosity. It's about creating a space where true intimacy can flourish, undiminished by age, and celebrated in all its forms.

By incorporating these resources into your intimate life, you invite excitement and novelty and create a shared experience of vulnerability and exploration with your partner. This emotional depth, coupled with the physical expression of sex, can significantly enhance the quality of intimacy, nurturing a closer, more vibrant relationship.

Intimacy is not a static element confined to the parameters of youth. Whether through the shared exploration of ethical porn, the personal empowerment found in sex toys, or the adventurous realms of kink and sex clubs, the possibilities for enhancing intimacy are limited only by our willingness to explore them.

Looking to understand more about how you can enhance your sex life? Email your questions to and I’ll address your them anonymously on the podcast.


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