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  • Writer's pictureKaren Bigman

The Midlife Metamorphosis: Reclaiming Sexuality in the Wake of Change

Navigating midlife can sometimes feel like you're trying to read a map without glasses. Suddenly, you're asking questions about health that never crossed your mind in your youth.

High cholesterol?

High blood pressure?

What's your exercise regimen like these days?

If you're finding yourself nostalgic for the days when sporting activities didn't come with a risk assessment for your joints, you're not alone. I've been in the same boat, managing high cholesterol since my 30s and dodging suggestions of statins like they're dodgeballs. My mantra has always been to exercise, eat well, and manage stress. But even with all these efforts, the reminder that "your heart is 60 years old" from your doctor can still hit you like a truck.

Mentally, I've nestled comfortably into middle age, finding solace in my social life, active routines, and the joy of running my new podcast venture. Yet, the ticking clock of aging doesn't pause for anyone, introducing a weekly surprise of new physical or dietary restrictions thanks to arthritis or a shrinking tolerance to my favorite foods.

Rediscovering Intimacy and Battling Taboos

As we age, our bodies go through seismic shifts that affect every part of our lives, including our sex lives. Women face the rollercoaster of menopause, while men aren't exempt from hormonal and physical changes. The conversation around these changes and their impact on intimacy is often shrouded in silence and shame. Yet, it's a topic that touches so many of us, grappling with the reality of low libido, difficulty achieving orgasm, erectile dysfunction, or the melancholy of feeling disconnected from our partners.

Embracing Your Sexuality at Any Age

Understanding and accepting the changes our bodies undergo as we age is foundational to reinventing our sexual experiences for the better. Many of us miss the memo that exploring our sexuality doesn't have an expiration date. It's possible—and frankly, liberating—to discover new dimensions of intimacy and pleasure in this chapter of life.

To navigate these waters, it's vital we educate ourselves on the physiological changes affecting our sex lives, advocate for our sexual health, and find medical providers who listen and offer solutions tailored to our unique needs. Equally important is the willingness to communicate openly with our partners, creating a shared language for our desires, concerns, and boundaries.

Contrary to what society may lead us to believe, midlife can be the most sexually liberating stage of our lives. With an evolved sense of self, fewer inhibitions, and a better understanding of what brings us pleasure, we're equipped to explore our sexuality in ways we perhaps never permitted ourselves before. One of the many beauties of aging is the shift in perspective it brings, allowing us to appreciate the richness of experiences over the superficial ticks of societal approval boxes.

Embracing this journey isn't without its challenges. It requires us to confront and dismantle the deeply ingrained beliefs about aging and sexuality that we've unwittingly subscribed to over the years. It's about giving ourselves permission to seek joy, connection, and fulfillment in our sexual lives, unapologetically.

While the map of midlife and beyond may come with its share of unknown territories, especially concerning our health and sexuality, it's also a period replete with opportunities for growth, discovery, and unparalleled freedom. My podcast, "Taboo to Truth," is but one vessel for navigating these waters, offering insights, stories, and a community for those brave enough to join the conversation. It's a reminder that our sexual journey doesn't wane with age; in many ways, it's just getting started.

My mission? To break these taboos wide open. Through my podcast, I've created a space where men and women alike can explore these topics without embarrassment or judgment. We tackle everything from sex during perimenopause and post-menopause to the exhilarating, sometimes daunting task of dating again after a divorce. It's about fostering a community that's willing to ask questions, seek answers, and share experiences openly and honestly.

Despite the trials, I've adopted a spirited "I don't give a f*ck" attitude upon turning 60, relishing in the freedom to live, choose my company, and speak my truth—especially about subjects as stigmatized as sex and menopause. Let's keep breaking those taboos, one truth at a time. Because no matter our age, we all deserve to live fully, love deeply, and embrace every facet of our sexuality with enthusiasm and courage.

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